god writing god to god and god reading it.

What can we do in the face of life happening? Especially the hard parts, the cruel bits.

It was my 3rd day in Mexico City and I’m not entirely sold. There is always an adjustment period that is hard to remember while it’s being lived.

The future is wide open, agape, oppressive with possibility

I grasp for it nonetheless, but it’s too far gone.

My grandfather died at 97 in his apartment in New York City on Thursday morning.

I have been rehearsing my mothers death since I was a child.

On the other side of that is uncertainty, space newly emptied and ready to be filled.

Healing as if it’s a linear process / broken / healing / healed

It’s been a year since one of my best friends of the last decade left this world.

December was incredibly complimentary to grief. I wasn’t the only one who rarely knew what day it was.

2020 started and ended with big losses - my friend T-boy and then my mom.

Grief, like death, is non consensual.

In six months I have forgotten grief as if it were a country I returned home from.

To come back to balance, to focusing on what is good, is a choice that is at times difficult, but ultimately inevitable as well.

Haven’t we all? No? Maybe in a dark moment.

Make up doesn’t matter. Presence and connection does.

Grief is weird.

It’s been almost two weeks since my friend’s passing and mourning has cast my time in a stark perspective.

There is no elegant exit, this is only the beginning.